Candles for the dead

Today i mourn the death of a dream, a dream i did not know could have turned into reality had i not let it go. I wish i didn't but i did. And all i can really do now is move forward taking with me the lessons i learned.

05.28.10

posted from Bloggeroid

Over the years

It's been 8 years since i graduated from college. A lot has changed. I fell in love hard, got broken into a pieces and put myself back together again. I gave up a what could have been the most wonderful blessing in exchange for something i didn't know i'd lost anyway. I fell in love with my best friend and got over him. I've travelled the country. I've travelled Asia. I've met great friends. I've been bullied by a bitch and became a bitch myself. I've mentors who helped me excel in the field i am in. I'm almost done paying for the house my sister and i bought. I am respected at my job. I am respected by my peers.

A lot had changed since 2005. I'm a whole new person. I'd like to believe i've lived a meaningful life so far. Question is: Why do i feel like something's still missing?

Courage

The most courageous act is still to speak for yourself. OUTLOUD.

--coco chanel

Losing grip

They say the easiest way to lose something is to hold on too tight. So i'll loosen my grip for a while. Give you some breathing room, some time to think. Because i can't lose you. Nine years of friendship is just too precious to let go of just because i'm threatened by someone who may as well be me, only 7 years younger.

And i guess my main concern here is that this feels familiar. and i don't want history to repeat itself. I don't want to be edged out right under my nose. Not on my watch. Not anymore.

Mad

I realized early on that i'm an angry person. Breathing in and out usually works. But i can only exhale so much. Can't i catch a break for once and breathe easy for a change?